When two people fall in love and decide to marry, sometimes there are children to consider. I encourage anyone who has children that is getting married to include them in the ceremony. Not only is a new marriage being born, but a new family is also being born.
A person with a child is a package deal. Mother and child, father and child cannot be seperated. The well-being of children in a relationship should be a priority of the couple. If the children are honored, the couple's marriage will be stronger.
To incorporate children in a ceremony is very easy to do. Once the couple exchanges vows, vows to children can be expressed. A few moments of loving, supportive, reassuring promises will allow the children to feel involved and secure in the new family. A token of these vows can be given to each child. These tokens may include family medallion jewelry (easily found online), a "certificate of family", family momentos, or any tangible item that is meaningful to you. The main thing is inclusivity and recognition of all members of your new "tribe".
Blending a family is a challenge worth taking for love multiplies itself with the proper nurturing!
A wedding ceremony, whether traditional or contempory, contains similar elements. The welcome, the "I Do's", the vows, the ring exchange are all familiar and expected. One way to personalize YOUR ceremony is to include a ceremony within the ceremony. These are the special moments that put your touch into your day.
Many weddings have included a candle lighting or sand ceremony. These are beautiful and classic touches. For those seeking something more unexpected a handfasting moment is lovely. The couple's hands are intertwined and then wrapped lovingly with a decorative ribbon signifying the binding union. For couples who have children, reciting vows to them as parents is both reassuring for them and recognizes that a new family is being united. Another unique and nostalgic moment is for a couple to include the same vows their parents or grandparents took.
There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all spouse. That's why I believe your wedding should be reflective of the one-of-a-kind personality of your relationship. Almost any family tradition or momento can be woven into a wedding ceremony to create a ceremony within the ceremony.
As a wedding officiant, I love when a couple wants to add that signature touch into the day!
My intention is always for the couples' happiness on their wedding day. As a wedding officiant I find great joy in getting to know each couple I marry so that I can create a ceremony that reflects their wishes and personality. Just as no two couples are alike, I believe no two ceremonies should be either. Whether a bride and groom want a simple ceremony or a more in depth one I work with each couple to bring to life their dream.
I have always enjoyed writing and finding ways to exactly express a moment. I think of each ceremony as an opportunity to breath beautiful heart and soul into a couples first day of forever. It's a custom approach and I cherish the opportunity to work with each couple in a new and fresh way.
When choosing a wedding officiant it is important to feel comfortable and at home with your choice. Your ceremony should feel "right". Just as the bride has selected a dress that is absolutely perfect for her, so to should be the selection of her officiant.
Ask your prospective officiant what their process is and if you will be able to give input. Make sure the officiant is sincerely interested in your wishes and willing to be flexible. The ceremony is your first moments of marriage. Those moments should always be memorable and cherished.
A favorite of mine. Enjoy.
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
I often tell the couples I marry how honored I am to officiate their wedding ceremony. By definition honor means to be privileged and to regard with great respect. I am always humbled when I am asked to serve as the officiant at a wedding. I believe in marriage and in building a future as a team. The culmination of the decision to spend life together is the wedding ceremony.
Anyone who knows me well knows I love a wedding. I am not just referring to a grand event but also the quiet, intimate smaller affairs. Equally with their unique beauty and personality, a wedding is a momentous occasion in anyone's life.
I can't tell you how much I am blessed to witness true joy and love in the beautiful moments when two people are vowing forever to each other. With all the challenges in the world, that very special moment renews my faith in love and everything that love can accomplish.
As a married person myself, I am not naive. I understand that marriage is not a series of wedding ceremony moments, but rather it is a mutual understanding that no matter what, we will row together. The exciting moments and the mundane are all part of the life of a marriage. Knowing the one you love will be there through all of it, the wedding, the honeymoon, the mortgage, the welcoming of children, the financial obligations, the repairs to cars and homes, the dynamics of family relationships, the illnesses, the deaths, the births, the arguments, the cuddling, the pets, the over scheduled calendar, the celebrations, the sorrows, the happiness and the challenges makes life rich and full.
I selfishly find great joy in those first moments of "I do". Witnessing and facilitating those first moments in a marriage and feeling the great promise of love is one of my greatest blessings.
I am honored.
aOne of the best parts of officiating weddings is hearing how the couples I marry have met. Each of the stories are so unique making me believe that you can find love anywhere. I love a good love story, but what makes them extra special are how ordinary situations can create extraodinary unions.
I just met a couple who met online. Not that unusual until they told me the whole story. They were both avatars on an internet game. The bride's son changed her avatar to a fairy while she was cooking dinner. She played the game with her son often but she did not know how to change her avatar back. She watched the little cartoon character of herself flit and fly through the game until she found herself lost in a section of the imaginary castle. She reached out for help to the other avatars in that section and low and behold she met her husband to be! From this chance encounter a long distance relationship developed. A boy from Jersey and a girl from California meet in cyber space! After a year and a half of courting her over the phone he flew to California and they met. The rest as they say is history! I am honored to be officiating their wedding next Saturday afternoon.
The path to a loving relationship is often unexpected. Navigate the world with an open heart and do your thing. You never know where your beloved will find you or where you will find your beloved.
Please share your love stories with me. Each one is so much fun to hear!
You believe in love. You wish to marry the one you love. I believe your wedding ceremony should be memorable and meaningful to both of you. The excitement of the reception afterwards is something you have spent many months planning and figuring out. Your vision for the party is and should be important because hey, a marriage is something to celebrate!
I would encourage you during the process to take some time as a couple to focus on why you love each other enough to say forever with you...
The party is an amazing evening. The marriage is all the days, weeks, months and years following the event. Allow yourself a ceremony that honors the love you share, that reflects your personality and beliefs, that honors the generations before and that gives you a timeless moment where it feels like it's only the two of you in the space.
I ask all couples to be an anchor in the storm and give each other wings. You are each other's safe place, you ground one another, you are in it together facing it all. And yet for a relationship to be successful you need to give each other wings. The best and worst of who you see before you is who you will share life with. They see the best and worst of you as well. Loving someone means accepting them as they are, without judgement, without attempts to change them. Giving each other wings allows you to support your partner's individual goals and dreams while reaching for your own.
Marriage is a journey unlike any other. I am always honored to officiate that timeless moment when you are saying to one another, I see you, I love you, you are perfectly imperfect, I am perfectly imperfect, let's brave the world with our imperfections and help make each other's dreams come true.